Hot Dogs

For years I have been taking a load of crap from my well-meaning friends about the stuff I eat.  Specifically hot dogs.  “Don’t you know what they are made of?”  “They’re filled with sulfites and red number 2.”  Yes, yes I know all about it.  I’ve even watched them being made and I’m still not put off.  First let me say that I consider the hot dog to be the perfect food and I’m sure your will agree with me once you have listened to the logic.  Consider the fact that they are already throat shaped.  It is all ready to slide perfectly down the inside of your neck with out hanging up on anything.  Just insert.  OK, I can hear some of you now saying, “If you swallow it sideways you could choke”, and I agree but that’s part of the perfectness of the dog, it gets rid of the dumb ones thus  improving the breed.  That’s built right in.  I should also point out that, when I say “hot dog” I am talking about “all beef” of course.  I consider any use of feather meat to be false advertising because it just isn’t what a hot dog was ever intended to be and I think it was God that said that.   You can throw them on the grill or just nuke em in the microwave, steamed, boiled and even raw.  My mom used to make beans and franks and my dad would eat them with peanut butter on them.  Name any other food that is this versatile.  It can be prepared in less than a minute and clean up is easy.  I rinse with beer, the other perfect food.  Show me someone that will turn down a chili dog with onions and mustard and I’ll show you a commie pinko.